Mary Windsor

 UMA IBEYO JABEQÁ

 (Growing old/Vieillir)

 

Gotou bes jes qabda iher ayoti betar

— muyen ye Ulan Bator

Asyuca saban 1997 gon

SEBAQAT

«Nuri habdonatis nu das jabedi auanpou jaunnu uma maulasqanda haunta nintat oher Saint Etienne, aher maraive e jauniyoh 4-a iher yabaive 5-a, bebes mas yur oubedi goqancu. Peresotis ayoi hajesda osi eher betaridi ayoi peu giniole syau rah atasyudi ibosui qavat ebica qaina ayoi. Ai syusat eher darningara e eher aicyi gabehban, butou aisyanda yole yoyasbandi nunieni mousiri hajesat peibosutu goqancua ayoi — sebejatu, ayoi neuqancutis ye aqe supou yannua luna — aher mas vaudi aive jame gotova peresotisi.»

 »Le Monde«, jauniyoh 10-a – 11-a, luno 1997-a gon

«Avi xayari e mousyati esnula, svai starebiattibu, remí remiu, e ai pugoti aive; aluh, vegos bumeterda yole syau rah vibeyoda ye saqira yole buresoda e «xayari ibeyo jabeqa». U rah avi gejonda. Yu vapeva troutoudi nuni remí lesqovi vonja ye lesqi pasa, yun vavas peuda ai lesqi mepa, yoyole: peuqa piniarisa, uzeus bequni ebica laguan e uzeus bequni ebica qain; syau rah ya otuqadi nuri tou puno pe nuni tougara nu asendi avi jabe busai nu asenda acyer i cer e aumahabdonatis evon nu das nevangatta jalanteni yesi yole aumahabdonatta bus. Aqe i oge, aneyonustada yole pebutatu syau rah anotuqistada. Mieu obequdi ani ala jame ye lesqi pasa, giniole qainat elentena scyoubrio elexiatisa beqi ani uza aireblibanatta.»

Amasedirati syusat ye esnulá viole Jeanne nu das jabedi 91

«Pepeva ledui saqir e yen e mancasarqa yoyole ani qavat ebica ibisa. Tari piyoda, tatari veqis sta rah qatadian. Ye aqe luna remí cer pou gonien, rah nu tou aibibasattiva, garubaresdi avi gadiocyi beyau spahi avi oubqendi besyuq. Nun vayole esorxisti jebo sanegira e traledui baqe boub. Ni nuris uza boubda puno eher lesubdi avi yusqocyi e rusocyi noub vonja oubeyo?»

Amasedirati syusat ye esnulá viole Jacqueline nu das jabedi 85

 

AIMABAQAT

Bes sediada pesogei. Gotou das jabedi 70 yogo. Vonji yahiqouqon uma bereda juni ibesyi go manpeu bemieuda.

Ayoi tovunqa lesqovada, uzeus jabaqu, uzeus lesqi; ma pu airebairescyattiyo; yodas marnu buzuaba e marnu gozuaba (neusirnoyatun); rah nara remí. Aqouga, peu sediada peva sesiqí haunta gandunqa gon, yoyole: seibevat epumá jabeyo 13-a, seibevat aut iyoha; pebutati i mepirocyi benbucya; aher mepunoi mamalei dauqa iher asaisyanasti airenta. Duvon garubarunda seduasyi seduasyu ai vonji yahiqouqon.

Ayoi aive sirnoya 17-a nuyole yoqasida juni aisya rah uza sebouda. Buqaratti pauranten busai deyehatti zeyes. Pebutati peu uza sejirda peibosuti busai uza yogaruyarqada taruh garupauranda. Go haunta, yoyeyudi nuri qasinicyi celat eher nuni asnasuisgara ema ibecau aher Madame Cyang Kai Syek. Savos gon nunieni gotou pu husda aima pelijo qahanati busai ayoi anstesocyattiyo meiveu. Rah uma yohaulanestada aher aipaqidi Madame saqira aunjouni nunieni. Das asen abejada yole beqi ayoi usesnula emidoliajono mandibi trasi nuni rah asibestadi ayoi ha tiraqocyi zaran!

Rah uma yorinda e ayoti nesilia — pe garuyarqada. E osqainatqa, yomas hangirdi nunieni nayi uherati aspireuten yole juni ledovistada xayaru, yoyole: jascyaban eher casarisgara dayole pau saha, rebia james ema sezoq oher Trafalgar Square, ga beqa nu neubiloqatta. … Aluh, ema bounjout nuyole renaircuocyada e ashangiristada pecyuralati. Yopamevanda eher neudi amioviarisgara, yoyole: Max Stirner, Kropotkin e painosun e Francia viole Louis Lecoin. Aqouga, sqemoudiocya jame eher lipoube tou e lipianqoubanat, e yes e tranabi qasyan, aicyidi ayoi aibas yogo.

Evon yosejirdi nuri uzo duvon yole uma esouqirada yuqovu astranabi, niamo qasanu e zuabisqu. Gandhi, Lanza del Vasto. Nunieni aibes uza sescyudiyo eher peuqa, iher ibeyo jabeqa, iher oube.

Zau uzo duvon qancuqá sejirda. Mayungara — yoyole yabnu raucya sounduna yastaneti oher nu syau yomacyuqda bebes 40 luna. Sirnoya je giranisqou. Uzi esnula jame, hederi bana jame. Nuni beqi asoubovatis nu liaibebattiyo oma qab aspirevo. Nuni beqi macyuqatis nuyole yoyasbanda ai lebet.

Peiyohati aibaqqa uzeus jabaqu, ibecavo habuegá syiyi. Seibevat beyava piniocyi. Seibevat rusocyá. Selasirat bocyabeidua. Ayoi oubier uma yusqada mepa garuaitta gon. Nuri syeza pesogei pesogeu iher ibeyo jabeqa. Su ansib. Ayoi mayun uma amuviqatta peisuti. Aive sebouda go ayoi buqancu asbandi yeb ibecau. Ayoi bilab go sabanda bouzí yole nunieni mancasaris riqo, nunis nu mebayadiyo, uzia, ha asendiyo!

Ibidir meter. Sebisyati, »TANABATA« — nuni qasyan ye qaizeya e Yapania yole beqa go liaireitatta metera ayoi. Yobayada e liaitatta moudiro ayoi go jaqi panpa sesidanda — nuni yuri esyabeti pauranatis ha syau sanqanda — busai aslesqiestada eher amaqavatti ayoi ilir.

Qaudi jula au. Syasyalat e Cyampan das ayoi abeja airebi gonien bebes hamodi marnu hamoqonata asyunu. Tari piyoda, tatari asaisyanasti agairecatten sebouda mepaceti. Aqouga, yomas uma barundi darpeu lesva qudovi ais jebo mou busai zancyida aima lipapeinosi veqapainosatis uzeus bepiri syula. Das sezoq eher aigagasati darhasyan. Eher Aung San Suu Kyi e yes. Yesi aibas e pasgot — dus nuri ahani aireca aisya rah mas deveqqiyo stayi. Evon nuni veca uzeus lingan, yoyole: jau e Alzheimer, Parkinson e nuni beqi veqi habaga yole mas maujaudi remí nali mansenuscyis asyuni asyunu busai ayoi yanlesubatti yuqou uzeus sqanten. (Ai renauva ye Francia, 11% ama jitovuna nuni nu das jabeda cer 60 busai nu syau vas mouda buhai ayo, sqanustada!)

Trasi yobouzida gonien. Svai rah yodas lebecyocyadi nunis ama qussatisa ayoi spahi haulanocyadi ayoi peu. Pepamevanatta busai mas uma gadi raucya biloqi, cecer airebi manaibaqda, cecer beqa amabejaratqa. Ayoi peyedovat yoyole pameu troutova celini e ayo.

Aqouga, Europa vayole nuri aibasyati tevamungunqa. Osmoudicyanat eher peibosuti veniar iher Narayama, ai bisya aher Yapania, rah emouga. Anmulourda ganien peva asbanasti aher emovidi nuni sedevosti bargarocyisgara eher sediada cyaqocyi haunta nuri lunat; aher ainiyottiyo beqa pu sucyani spahi mas picyirdiyo beqa cu tiranu spahi mas sotondiyo beqa ema peisuti bounjout dartiranqá.

Asendi marnu sedia loura nuyole yoyansib asbanda.

Cye nu ge anrauganestadi ibeyo jabeqa removu veqi? Jebo babuq i qebin jabe? — Aisya rah puno! Cye nu ge anaireitta gan? Yu rah trabejá, lipoube tova i naijabemata veqi yurdi nuri sedia lour puno. Otai yodas zandii e meseri sancyab gan, bebes yur alandaratti beqa, yoyole: syulagara, saqir nuggara, saqir qoisu troutougara; yoyole qussa e usqussa.

Zau manaibeuda uzeus heibreqa, uzeus jabaqu.

Uzeus jabaqu, uzeus mas libandi nuris puno.

 

PEBAQAT

Ye aqe oubeta buqancua aher Minnie, yovas mouda mesuyi. Sunu lunata bes aqeda. Xebten lacyeqo oubeya ilouggi nuri tane pasela peva yole duvonda aspiyoi. Syau rah yodas ebica qain puno; aqouga, gi yovas mouda zono ayoi haunta 35 luna, gin vegos yoyasmaqabatta uzeus remí jabaqu. Jaqi itosya vas bepiri peila. Qende are beqa go aipeilatqa saroi.

Pangaq, 92 luna yer yenda yole ayoi panga syau rah asenda aibovi. Aiveyo marnui, agairecatten pu paselostada iher uma yoqessoda. Sediada inlaqui pevi pevu. Emosya rah yomangaruda stayi. Aspeu bus, ayoi otqiaris pu oubeda marnui marnú. Tari piyoda, tatari ayoi pinocya aumalebecyattiyo. Es beqa haunta asyuca hus. Ninta juni iloubdi desus yogo busai mouzon tesovi yas bariq syau rah ayoi yurdi nuri aidega ledub lacyeqo ava dayole jebo qain. Esorxistada.

Yu sediniaris syau rah zaqilasyada pe marusyi i yabusyi ama auanaiveya. Yos ayoi mayun, nu vas mouda ibeyoi, yerda yole uma yostamovatta buhai ayo. Aisya rah puno! Mayun mehojei pu ayoi otqada, cye peu, begara meyona veqa ga virdiyo yos. Rah yoyerda eher mas virdiyo. Rah yoyerda eher ailebecyattiyo darpevo ayoi dayole 40 e Kilograma haunta pebenat casarunqá yos ayoi. Uma yoyenda.

Rah nu tou iher nu savada. Uzeqat aipasiarisa mas airecadiyo. Nuni sentaqon eher tou jebo qain mas dausirocyadiyo. Sa qu, nu gi ayoi piyoi qancuqa yole hauntada e 70 luna vauda gonien? Rah yeunria stayi, rah desvoya stayi. Nesoucya tesou e bub.

Qoste, desqeso aibaqi marnui, yoibisdi nur yun pango, yole dibsyada busai yole garuyosyada. Nu ge beiji sebouda mouzoni ayoi? Ye nu yomusebouda? Beiji vas hamodi cu ucya. Yoqabda ai syirounzoni busai sqoudi laquti inlarqon evon mas ayoi amadi marnu ceicyata sabri ucyata. Haunta beqa aiveya, nunieni beiji habrida yun ayo, jun yun. Yohusda yun leyo ayoi haunta nintat, au sedevo. Gai lesqova, gai jalan! Bes beqa, nuris iher nu savada. Nuri yoyoi la eher garuyeunrigiyo. Sedinsya yole garuyosyada. Biya.

Oge cannu aiveya, ayoi gomayun das garuauanaivei otuqa gan ai labeut. Traledu gali galu! Nuri asatasyuasti ajor lirebiattiyo. Beijí riza e heibrou beqa go. Au hamojo, ai becyouqo, ai syirounzono. Trajor. Geyis. Benbu.…

Uzia, ayoi goma mansuda au depo ayoi e sabri piní beiji mansuda au inmout quyo ayoi. Pu yoyodi nuri yo hus … sunos yojesdi peraquti yuqou resó e Nirvana.

[VAU]

 

AICYO JALAN. Nunieni yoyexa piyosya mas abejaga ibecavo esnulá manuzi e yusqi avi nu alaibasattiva muqussatenu ayoi busai nu vontídiva airuqa ayoi e yen e ibeyo jabeqa. Asban jalan. Avi nali ibis asban jalana eher Christiane nu asyilidiva e nuni veqomaqaizet e Francia, e eher sasi Bernard nu mas xasdi nunieni dayasya. Peibosutu, asban jalan eher avi esnula oher Yokohama viole Hiromi nu raidi veqomaqaizet e Yapania.

AI MALILA MIMETAR

 (Impromptu)

RANGUN. Vas maus dibda. Jun ji vas celinsyi e aumahabdonati meyonqa. Batari sougara yole qarainda aima sunga veno. Mas troutouda e ge tescya uza stajescyubatti qepi bebes tou sediada airebbaqiounati. Vego tou rah judouga gon aher naidesgevatti qaurigara e yorovat raiga ye desgedá painosqi trasi dibi, ga asyuca sezoq e gihima syou vas. Aqouga, giniole beqa nun airouda gan aqe cer marnu naijabeta, gin cyurai beqa nun stacasaratta e staganenatta. Spahi, cyurai beqa nun mas mejabemaga evon stesocyatqa yorovatu emeqaro raiga ye yayainata yole asendi peva bepiri nesilia painosqá.

YMCA” suda yen haqoizono e Sulé heibrovi e renpiriqi: yoyole sabri e asmairelonati yorovat meyanu ainden biranzona e idolia eyana. Rusruicyi seduja idouzon e maquticyi garusedeuzon.

Vas trasi dibda e trasi mausda. Banat mas juni airecada gon. Duvondi nintat uher uma pesqouda idolio ainden biranzona. Aima arbi auto e yes e aima pesqovuno teubani. Hinguni tovun e Birmia nu bayada trasi meseri beqa go das bouca boubda. Bes beqa, nunien ha vayole painosqa tovungará e Birmia.

Anboupandi sedajut auanvonjo buhai aibanzon. Bebes, jascyagara uma sesqixada. Eher japoudi qainistaqa. Eher japoudi vuiteinzon e renpiriqi haqoizon. Giniole asremí zi eher garugayaron iher Mandalaya veqapainosatiso boupanastada, gin aibaqi anmas selasustadi garuvir os aqucono baniarisi.

Rah asendi ayoi sebovat mara iher Rangun. Aisya yodas lesqi mounegiada asyani nuri, ji yobanada gan lesqio beqi emovasti. Usyo nunieni, beqa nu saqir bayada mayole bemieu meter. Rah nouga baná dayole lasir lesqi. Nesoucya stamijesatti piret meyonqá busai virda iher veqi aireubat uma ibosuda.

Desusato aibaqi. Bayada yole ayoi adebustadi hus desus; vegos ainden biranzon uza bubda. Yusqi e muzandii pireyaris yancigosatti cuma heibrou. Vayiqiaris na deyehidi celini idolia raiga ye letqova uzeus aibas.

Mansuda baistero jebí ga das beyes moudirdi mamalei saqir. Ni yohemoqasyada spahi ni pebutati yovas oher Rangun?

Nuri celinis e Birmia liaibevatta au idolia eyani edoró e Sarung piyoi qahansyeni dayole laur pini. Jauzi beyau cyirgio e alalo sula vuyova tezi. Yomanga suda mayole juni haleqa esouqira os pu oucyolo. Biran e Mazurka uher Cyopin uma aireitta ye ibousyá ayoi busai ibouda iher asqainasti boubungara. Nunieni ainden birn vegoguni hauntada e marnu vonjá. Auyar noub sebouda ai malila lebe busai biraniaris liabdatta. Yoyoi bue dayole bebqeq besub busai ayoi au ya rebiada gon. Nuni biraniaris das juni besub busai sunos yosabanda bouzí yole rah ansqeyorgadiyo. Yobizanda haunta canzoli qiqa, evon asbandi nunieni aicyo dentu aibala; aqouga, ansib sanqanda. Yomansqoudi nolirat oucyola yoyou busai bianqadi bounjout yuqova. Ye nu ga yomusebouda? Ni vego uza yonubdi nuri agguni cu arbuq ema? Nuri cu arbuq puno? Nuni marcyari saqir yole yolesubda gon e reta e garges yoyole nuri airebioyoti e airebriqiti arbuq pesqia yole yar mouda airebi piyoi ibeyou au dalato cei nouba dibi e cumocyi.

Juni aicyot asban jalana dayole haleqa esouqira e nunien cecer yoyansyenacyada sesidani ima syijiq eyani.

[VAU]

 

Seqaizeti arsu yoyole »Growing old/Vieillir« e „Impromptu“, ye »A Bed of Roses«. Mamalei sedia saha ai sepou e ai qaize e Francia. Renara saha © 1997 uher Mary Windsor (Copyright © 1997 by Mary Windsor). Beqi paro sejan imobequtqa. Nunieni veqomaqaizet uher Javant Biarujia mas emouga. Tanerali veqomaqaizet luna 1998-a rah imobequtqa.

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